How To Become A Malaysian Blogger

Something caught my eye out today. Doing my usual surf, I came out with these few blog posts.

Although those posts are directed towards the more newbie bunch of bloggers that are popping up all over the blogosphere over the past year or so, it’s still a pretty interesting read even if you’re a veteran blogger that has been around the block more than a few times. But since everyone seems to be creating rules about things lately, I thought I might as well dig up on some rules of my own…all the way from “Bolehland”.

Edrei’s Rules Of Malaysian Blogging:

Be a Copycat:
It doesn’t matter if you’re new to blogging and you have no idea how to blog. There are already so many bloggers out there that can blog with so many readers. All you have to do is blog like them. Use the way they phrase things, use their own language and pass it off as your own. If they blog about some really cool topic, do the same thing. After all, if everyone thinks its cool, then who’s to say you shouldn’t be cool too. It doesn’t matter how they do it, as long as you do it too…you’d be heading up the ladder in no time. It’s always best used with the next rule.

Plagiarise:
Can’t think of anything to write either? Then just copy the whole content. It’s not as easy as you think. It’s an art. I mean, how else are you going to turn that post about some religious fanatics into a post about your boyfriend? It’s some careful tweaking of words and a little ingenuity that you can turn that great wordy post into your own with very little headache. Unfortunately some of the best blogs in this category have disappeared. Probably because they got for what they wish for…the fact that people DO read blogs after all.

Reblog:
Are you even more lazy? Are you troubled by the hassle of phrasing words into coherant sentances? Then go no further for this is a blogging style for you. Just go to any popular news or tech site that you can find and just quote a large chunk of news that you think is most interesting then link back to it. The best part is, it’s legal and you can truly believe that you’re giving your readers something that they can care about because they would rather read your blog than those elitist news sites that only want your money. Oh…of course, the only repayment you can have for your “hard work” is to have your blog peppered with ads. Obviously nothing comes for free.

Start A Controversy:
A little low on the reader hits? Your Google Ads not generating as much income as you want? Start something big and mind blowing. Say something that goes against the normal thinking of the society. Take the bad boy (or girl) stand and say things like how we should have death sentences for babies or homosexuals are the work of western religion or even (god forbid) toilets for disabled people should be free for everyone to use. It doesn’t matter that people will come screaming in calling you ignorant names, it matters that you have just brightened up people’s otherwise boring day and gained some infamy in the process. Everyone loves sensationalism. So why not cash in on that?

Be An Anti-Hero:
Want to look great without pissing everyone off? Be the champion of the underdogs. Always working hand in hand with the controversy makers, the anti-hero always takes the opposite stand of those evil bastards with the support of the people. If that’s not enough, start putting your foot down on what is right and wrong and telling your naysayers that they probably are pansies who support people that support the killing of babies. The bad news is that you need people who would say stupid things in the first place to keep your illustrious reputation, the good news is that there is a blogger born every 6 seconds.

Keyword Captcha:
If you’re just contented with your own “original” posts but like to have people flock to your blog anyway, always make use of the power of the net and human nature which is this. People are too lazy to read things to get the idea of what a post really is. So the internet makes it simple – they made keywords searches easier so that we can all find out what’s relevant in our lives. Apparently such important keywords such as “Xiaxue”, “Kennysia” or even “Dawn Yang” can make the most boring noodle posts seem so much more cooler especially when slotted into the title somewhere. It never fails to work.

All in all, hopefully these little tidbit of rules would make us a little better in the way we blog. Not that we need it anyway, after all, most of us are pretty smart anyway yelling out at the top of our lungs that we don’t need any damn rules even when people from outside our little blogging community are trying to emphasize it. Pish tosh I say!! For shame I say!!

We obviously are original alright. We’re going to walk through this blogging world with out head held up high even though we forgot to put some pants on. But it doesn’t matter and you know why? Because “Malaysia Boleh” and we really can do it. That is…after we figure out what is it we do. Go figure.

13 thoughts on “How To Become A Malaysian Blogger

  1. Hmmm, your post seems so similar to mine today, except that, I did something more drastic. I put all of Technorati top keywords into my post, and the next moment, popularity has surged to 59%!

    Next year, I’ll do more of these publicity stunts of course, they’re so fun, especially when the “stock market” rises.

  2. Hahaha…talk about coincidences. I didn’t even read your blog until after I finished with mine. Keyword tagging is fun though. Too bad we can’t misuse it…but shhh….what people don’t know won’t hurt them. 😛

  3. And I thought all I needed to do was be Malaysian. Obviously too much effort to be a Malaysian blogger, so I think I’ll be happy just being a regular blogger. =D

  4. Boy…you guys are funny. This is a cool post and I submitted it to Digg. Keep up the good work.

  5. Blogs and weblogs are created out of joy, playfulness and creativity to share your thoughts, feelings and observations in the physical world.

    Now as life is spontaneous so blogs should be as free as air (anything goes without inhibitions) and spontaneous comments and interactions can then flow through them indiscriminately

  6. For all I care, Ed, I blog for friends & family (nvm my sisters nvr read them anyways). But it’s a really good idea, putting keywords on my blog. lol. It might irritate people tho.

  7. Wow! Thanks a lot for the tips. As we are becoming pro-blogger, these are really good tips for us. Your post is just in time too. 😛

  8. I thought blogging should be an online self-contemplation, or perhaps, it has become an attention seeking tool. Well, I can’t pre-judge you on attention-seeking, as I am one myself!

    Great to know what it makes to create a Malaysian Blogger. I hope, I am not too different! Oh yeah, I doubt bloggers write about homosexuality to create attention, but it is because they are only men loving other men, no harm done.

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