Stop Yourself From Alienating Regular People

I have a sneaky suspicion that for a long time now I’ve been alienating the bulk of the people that would make up for the readers of this blog. In my mind at least, despite all the exposure I have, the amount of people who continue to read or interact on this blog has never really increased at all. In fact, for the most part, I’ve actually had a decrease in readers of late and my comments have practically come to a stand still.

I really don’t know what reason people have to not come back and read, but in ways, I have more than a fair share of theories as to why this happens. So naturally, you’d expect them to be listed down. Much like this:

  1. I am not a girl – There is no way I can write this point off without sounding sexist. On a whole, I feel that bloggers that are women tend to get more attentive hits. Men’s brains are wired that way. You have a girl who talks about her ideas, her state of mind. You’re going to stay long enough to get to know them. Long enough to find out all you can about them. Men have the patience for it once they get the whiff that they might possibly get something out of it. I’m not a girl and the opposite doesn’t always hold true, which is what brings us to the second point.
  2. I don’t write like a manThis part has been brought up more than once. On a whole, I do not write like a normal guy. I don’t use hard hitting words. My train of thoughts has always been more emotionally sensitive than to the brawny point. I write less factual posts as opposed to writing what I’m wearing on my sleeves at this moment. In truth, people aren’t always comfortable with that. People don’t always see the point of that. While people expect to comfort women in their moments of emotional pondering. How do you comfort an emotional guy? I know that pushes a lot of people away.
  3. I read too deeply into things – The point of this blog was supposed to be that I write whatever is on my mind. Unfortunately my mind was never normal to begin with. I rationalize further along the line than a lot of people can see. While whatever I felt may not have been comforted by people as I would hoped, whatever I thought couldn’t have been understood by people as I would have liked. If people can’t understand where I’m coming from and where I’m going with it. There is no way they are going to come back for more, much less give their own train of thoughts and turn it into a discussion.
  4. I don’t interact with regular people – Perhaps one of my greatest shortcomings is that I on a whole, don’t interact with anyone and everyone the way that interests people. Half the time I can’t understand what people are saying. The other half of the time I can’t relate in a way that people can understand what I’m saying. Given that building a community involves persistently involving yourself in other communities at the same time, if I don’t find a way to communicate with other people soon, I’ll lose any reason for people to drop by regardless of my exposure to the world.

At the end of it, as much as I would want to say I can live by a small community of people around my blog, at it is, I need to actually have people around to have that community to start off with. There is only a certain amount of envy towards my peers I can stand before I run off and blog about how something isn’t right and how being unique has its downsides and then turn everyone off.

The point here in its entirety is that if you want people to read your blog, if you want to build a community from it, you have to stop pushing people away. The truth is that as much as we are told to concentrate on our niche, we also have to stop ourselves from alienating the normal people that make up the bulk of the world. Those are the people that will eventually be our niche at the end of the day given the chance. To win people with your uniqueness at least, you either have to have to have a cult of personality or tone down a little of who you are. It makes a lot of difference at the end of the day.

Otherwise you’re going to end up like me and that’s really not a good thing.

12 thoughts on “Stop Yourself From Alienating Regular People

  1. Er, I like to read your blog but I don’t comment at all.In any case, you don’t turn me away, lol. 🙂

  2. I normally bug you on MSN… but I stop replying to a lot of blogs unless I feel it’s really needed. It’s easier to comment via MSN/IM if you feel it’s really important.

    That said… I think no.3 can be a big turnoff. I have one blog that I’m planning to take off my feeds because I can’t understand the way she thinks, and she tends to write somewhat like you (only yours makes more sense).

  3. Tine: Yes and that makes me feel so much better. 🙂

    Myuu: And welcome to commenting on my blog. 🙂 Now that I know you read, I hope to hear from more of you. 🙂

    Naoko: Makes sense enough for the message to go across? It’s hard to tell if there isn’t a conversation about it.

  4. You don’t turn me away at all, Ed. Maybe in Notes (okay, kidding, kidding) but … nah. I like reading your thoughts, and I like reading your observations. And I admit I don’t comment much (I read your blog mostly thru the relative distance of my feed reader), but you do react to comments when we post them, and that’s what matters in a community.

    You’ve got a great blog. Never let envy take that knowledge away from you.

  5. “I have a sneaky suspicion that for a long time now I’ve been alienating the bulk of the people that would make up for the readers of this blog.”

    I’m a regular (and silent) visitor to your blog but everytime I see an entry starting with the word Chickybabe I skip it. Dunno why but I always think cryptic terms like that signifies that its a private joke meant for your own private clique so I usually don’t bother to read it. Have too many exclusivist terms and your casual readers might think its not meant to be a public blog and they might stay away – permanently.

    But on the emo bit, I think there’s nothing wrong in being yourself. There’s too many macho jock bloggers out there who want to be larger than life when I suspect they’re just compensating for something if u know what I mean. I think your writings come across as one of the more sincere ones, that’s why I bother to stop by.

    Sorry if I sound a bit critical but I think you’re doing great. Remember its the quality that counts.

  6. I guest there are tooo much blogging community, not just that, just look at online community networks, we got MySpace, Friendster, Facebook and more coming…
    But don’t give up, because there’s somebody out there even worst, example like my mumbo jumbo blog. (I mostly recieved loads of spam, and ended up no comments)
    I’ve been building my site since 1998

    Facts of life, there’s up, there’s down….

  7. Eli James: I try to react yeah. I’m just not sure I’m getting as much exposure and participation as I should, or maybe just as I would want.

    Brendan: Rather than cryptic terms, think of it as an ongoing term which has its own meaning. The term “Chickybabe” already has a meaning on this blog, citing random thoughts hobbled together as a list. It’s not cryptic, it’s just what I hope would catch on given enough interaction with the site. I do get the elitist and exclusivity, that’s why I said, it takes some skill to either be persuasive or compromise with the readers, something I have always been trying to work at. Thank you for the criticisms nevertheless, it’s exactly what I’m looking for in times like this.

  8. I think you have to be yourself. I think you have to write about what interests you, that way you write better perhaps.

    Do girls write like girls and men like men? I hate sterotyping though. No woman is 100% feminine; no guy is 100% masculine. That’s got to be reflected in the way we write. I don’t consider myself a good writer, and my failing is I tend to go on and on….

    Still, it’s heartening to know that at least a few people read your blog. About the comment thing – aren’t we really trying to boost our own egos a bit? I mean it’s like running an online radio station (which I do), and wanting folks to email you with requests. You want and need to know someone is listening, even if it’s only one ot two.

    Anyway, I’m going to go look around some more, as I’m a new reader here.!

  9. Eyebee, the only things I do write are the things that interest me. Of course, that’s with the realization that it doesn’t always interest anyone else.

    Even if we don’t want to be lobbed into stereotypes, unfortunately the world at least tends to subconsciously categorize the way we expect to see things. Anything else out of the ordinary, we either consciously accept or not. The fact that we have to do that, means we acknowledge that it is different. How we write as a gender, is no different. At least that’s what I understand from it.

    I admit, comments is knowing that there are people out there acknowledging what I write. Even if this is a record for my own personal gain. It’s nice to know people know I’m here.

    Welcome to the blog nevertheless. I hope you like that you read or not die from boredom because of it. I look forward to hearing from more of you. 🙂

  10. I prefer writers to go straight to the point. Already, we have so much to do in a day. Writers, especially novelists these days, are avoiding unnecessary elaborations. Why write 10 words when you can explain it in one word? Editors decide if a piece is good just by looking at the first paragraph. You if have a case, give it ypur best at the start. Works that are flowery and draggy gets ditched almost immediately. Partially due to commercialism and massifocation, we simply don’t have the time.

  11. Yvonne: It’s hard to write a story if people keep going straight to the point. Unnecessary elaborations I tend to agree, but when was the last time a novel was only 2 pages long? Maybe in the end, that’s what novels these days are missing, the art in the words themselves. People these days will rush things through because they believe that have no time, regardless, these are the same people that will miss out on the things that really matter.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *