For the past few weeks or so, I've been monitoring a sharp increase in people visiting my blog and I have come to one conclusion about all this. There are a lot of sad men out there who are extremely insecure about the size of the tube that hangs in between their legs.

I'm not kidding you, apparently that happens to be one of the most sought after keyword that leads to this blog. Which is a little disturbing too considering a lot of my posts have nothing to do with sex…it just so happens that I named it that way. Apparently, it's just not about the penis too, my blog just happens to be a gold mine of very very naughty sounding keywords. Here are just some of the few that lead Google to my blog.

1. How to make your penis bigger
2. Mouthful of penis
3. Recorded big penis
4. Lower parts of body
5. Spank that ass
6. Breaking the hymen
7. Hymen found thanks for pic
8. Pussy on penis
9. Bloody vagina
10. Xiaxue

The list just goes on and on with variations of really disturbing keywords that I shall not put down here because really…it's just disturbing and I would like to have my appetite in good condition for the rest of the day.

The point is, for those of you who did come here because you were lead to believe that you could find naughty pictures or just try and make your penis bigger. You're not going to find anything here. This is a personal blog and as much as I enjoy people coming in to visit, it is not because I have the key to making your penis any bigger than it already is.

God gave you something you should be happy with. So for the love of all that's holy and sacred…leave it the hell alone. You're better off trying to learn how to use it properly rather than to make it bigger. That at least can change, there isn't any point trying to give spammers more reason to flood my mailbox with ads addressed to people like you.

So really…could you people give me a better keyword search than what you have right now? I would really like that. Really.