Just Perfect…

That’s just great. I’m having web design block. I can’t think of any design for the new layout. That’s not the only problem. Even if I DO think of a great layout design…there is this little problem called “making-it-happen”. There is something about me that sets higher standards for myself then have some form of trouble getting to those standards.

I mean when I look back at my life, it’s always been the road less taken. Primary school (major untaken road), high school (oh yeah that’s a whole lot of roads not taken) and right now. The world I built around myself are that which people don’t usually take…which as a result I have brought countless problems and trouble for my own life when I could have easily got along with people or got into a University or even obtained sufficient monetary aid for myself.

But do I keep doing it? I mean I ask myself right now…whats the main reason why I took the course I took now, when I could easily take other courses wih ease (ok with the serious exception of engineering). The standards I have impose on the rest of my career and my life would be nothing short of humanly improbable. And even now I’m starting to feel the doubt and fear that any normal human would face. It’s not even the stress of the possible future I envision…it’s just exam jitters that’s all…and I’m to pull off something that has more relation to a science fiction novel than real life. Gee…such a high drop from that one…

That still doesn’t explain why I personally set high standards for myself. In fact…why are they perfectionists in the world? People that can be fussy nit-pickers or people with obsessive-compulsive behaviour. Always preening and proding until something is in the right place. Man…I love to imagine a Star Trek world with these people in it (“But Captain!! We’re 0.000001 microns out of alignment!!“). Would anything get done in the first place? Maybe we will…but not without us constantly whining on how the arrangement of the plates don’t match the decour or how there is one spelling error in someone’s 5000 page report or how the test tubes keep getting smudged because someone else handled it after handling something else.

But in any case…even if we perfectionists slow down the things that get done, we pretty much set the pace for things TO get done. We spend so much time preparing and finishing, often enough we let other people go ahead and hand it up…it’s not exactly perfect…but it gets the job done…if barely. We may hate it…but think of it this way…if we don’t start…who’s going to finish in the first place? We get the high ball rolling…that’s good enough in a world where people don’t seem to want to roll anything at all.

Gee…to think it started with just saying I’m having Web Design Block. I didn’t even get to blog what I wanted cause there is just too much to jot down. Oh well…one day at a time…there will be other blogs on other days. One thing’s for sure…sometimes…being a perfectionist has it’s ups. Even if you’re going to take years to see them get done…:)

Now…I wonder if blue is a good colour scheme…?

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