Make Your Penis Bigger

Or to be more accurate…how much you're going to hate the fact that I'm using spam techniques and false advertising to pull you to this post right about now.

That's right, spam. You can live without it…and…well…you can live without. No matter where you go or what you do, there will always be that tell tale sign of that digital junk mail or messages known as spam. It's just that at this point I've really started waging a huge war against it. I mean…for those of you who use hosted blogs like Blogger, Blogdrive, LiveJournal or (God help me) Xanga, chances are you'll see only a handful of spam comments a month or so if you see any at all.

I just happen to see 800.

A day.

It's just is the bane of all those of us who use server-side blogging tools like WordPress ot Movable type to have a problem this big. Once a spammer grabs on to a blog like ours. Say hello to the longest list of crap you have ever seen come out from a system in your life. If it wasn't for my spam filter plugins there is little doubt that I'd already be overrun with comments of poker games, money, viagra and God knows what other forms of spam.

But…I've got a permanent solution for this.

That's right. As much as we can all create spam filters and increase our stringency on our blogs and mailboxes. There is a permanent way to get rid of spammer. It may seem a little harsh but bear with me here. With all that's been going on about spam, you'll love the idea.

Edrei's Final Solution To The Spam Problem:

  1. Make spamming a world atrocity punishable by public execution by a firing squad
  2. Make spamming a world atrocity punishable by a life sentence of having the spammer forced to go through spam for the rest of their natural life in a "rehabilitation" camp.

I'm sure it won't be hard to lobby that kind of law in the world court. Anyone with an email connected to the net would already experience the sheer virulent horror known as spam…which would mean it is highly possible that those people in charge of making such policies in the first place might already have the ideas to begin with.

In fact…I'm betting you that you'd have hoards of volunteers waiting in line to chip in whatever they can to help back those laws up.

It's a law the public would completely agree on.

How could it not pass?

So think about it. If ever a law like that were to be passed in the international court of law, please help support it. I do not have to tell you that spam is bad. I do not have to tell you that spammers are a bunch of lifeless wanks who have nothing better to do than to annoy the hell out of all of us because they didn't get breast fed enough by their mothers or something.

Let's start with out own backyard first.

Please…show zero tolerance for spam.

Before they completely consume your life.

12 Comments

  • July 12, 2005 - 13:06 | Permalink

    Hey, that’s a cool post. Btw, why can’t I post on ur tag board? Thanks. :)

  • July 12, 2005 - 13:09 | Permalink

    Thanks Kyle. Actually you can. Though what seems to be a problem with it? Thinking of spamming it. :)

  • July 12, 2005 - 13:14 | Permalink

    Just about to nominate your blog specialising in “sex” but you got me there…ha ha good one..

  • July 12, 2005 - 13:21 | Permalink

    Shit, man – the only reason I switched to WordPress was because of the spam problems with my MT – now you’re saying this! Argh! Kill spammers! Kill kill kill!!!

  • July 12, 2005 - 13:29 | Permalink

    Balajoe: The power of advertising. Used for the good of the people. :) You still can nominate my blog for sex anyway. Helps draw in the crowd. :P

    Sashi: Don’t worry man. No spam has invaded me yet. The 800 spam comments are caught by Spam Karma 2. You should use it. Either that or Bad Behavior. Both are equally good Spam filter plugins for WordPress. The only catch is…they can be too good. Make sure you check the settings properly or they’ll eat normal comments.

  • honey
    July 12, 2005 - 17:21 | Permalink

    hmmm…… hehehehehe…..like it just as it is

  • July 14, 2005 - 19:39 | Permalink

    spam. i wish the only kind of spam in the world is the kind you can buy in a can. at least you can choose whether to have it in your life or not. bleh.

  • Pingback: Footsteps in the Mirror » Has Your Comment Been Eaten By Spam Filters?

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  • June 13, 2006 - 18:50 | Permalink

    But I liked this apprach. What is the harm ;-)

  • mike
    August 11, 2006 - 06:24 | Permalink

    i came here for a bigger penis you little weasel

  • Caliope Jane
    August 13, 2007 - 19:54 | Permalink

    Why not set up a Spam site all about penis enlargement (aka small ego) especially for males like Mike to subscribe to. I’m happy to forward the ones I get – really useful for females (not).

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