It's no secret that I don't like popularity contests. For people to win at this game, they require a certain kind of individual. The kind who's naturally outstanding. The kind that's thick skinned. The kind that knows no shame. The kind that definitely isn't me.

Yet recently, I find myself trying to play this game given my recent position as a finalist at the 2007 Weblog Awards. Never before have I messaged so many people and used whatever leverage and positions of influence I have to ask people to vote in my favour. Never before have I felt the rush of euphoria in realizing that whatever leverage, contacts and influence you have actually does work. Lastly, never before have I met people so catatonically rude and stupid in something so simple.

No wonder you have to have no shame and be as stubborn as they come. I was never raised on getting all the attention so I haven't the foggiest clue on how to handle it when it comes my way. My insecure little self can't handle all the idiots in this game.

So what am I going to do? I'm going to take a leaf out of Mel's book on this one. There are better things to be affected with than a bunch of people too ill mannered and lazy to talk to you like a decent human being. This might dampen my sense of confidence a bit, but then again after a while, I'll live. I'll choke for air as go through the incomprehensible babble, but I'll live.

That being said, I'll still torture myself by looking at the impossible distance between me and the next guy. While I know that quality isn't always measured by the fans you have, you got to admit, to have them in the first place is always a sweet icing you can live on. If only I could have the stomach to keep playing the game for as long as I live, but I'm comfortable being me.

Some days, that's the best self assurance you can have for yourself.